I didn't sleep at all well last night so I'm feeling really awful today. My heart was racing, I was in absolute agony all over my body and my breathing was rubbish; it was just so painful and so exhausting and I couldn't breathe properly. I'm really exhausted now and feeling very brain fogged (as in my brain isn't functioning); I actually feel like I'm drunk so do excuse me if this post makes no sense at all, although I have been steadily working at it for the last few days so hopefully it won't be too bad.
I was worried I suppose that if things didn't work out then it would wreck our friendship. Plus I thought that he would annoy me too much! (It was all in good humour though!) We finally got together in 2007, on the verge of going to university. He went to Brunel University in London, and I went to UWE in Bristol. Obviously there was about 100 miles between us and some people assumed that we wouldn't last. But it just felt right really, making it work; obviously we had to put in a lot of effort to see each other and everything but it never felt like a big effort, it just felt like the natural thing to do. We have a very strong relationship now and we're really comfortable with each other. He's very cheeky and mischievous and I LOVE being stupid and messing around, so we have a lot of fun and a lot of banter! The photo is of Rob and I at my 21st birthday party in 2010 when my ME was mild. I had a children's party and we all dressed up; Rob and his flatmates came as Thunderbirds which was really hilarious.
I was very excited yesterday as Alice had her baby. She gave birth to a little boy, Jake, at 3:09pm. I can't wait to see him. I can't wait to see them all actually, as the last time I saw Alice and Darren was a couple of weeks ago when they came in to see me in hospital. The question is when really, whether Alice will still be in hospital or not on Wednesday.
One reason why Alice is my best friend is how lovely she's always been, whatever has happened during the six years I've known her, and her reaction to my ME has been no exception. She's always just accepted it and knows that I'm still the same person underneath the illness. She still invites me out to things too which I really appreciate. It's almost a guarantee that I won't be able to go, but it means a lot that she doesn't automatically assume that and still involves me in things. I can imagine that having a friend with something like ME can be very difficult if you don't know how to handle it. You may not know what to say to them, and may feel like you're upsetting them by inviting them out knowing full well that they'll be too poorly. But it makes such a difference as a sufferer to be included in things still, it's nice to know what's going on. And what's lovely is when your friends just get on with it and talk to you in the same way that they always did. It sounds incredibly clichéd, but ME really does show you who your real friends are. I have a lot of amazing friends and for that I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
A very important friend of course is Rob, my boyfriend. We've been together for four and a half years now. We met at sixth form way back in 2006. We gradually got closer and closer and were really close as friends for quite a long time before we got together. I wasn't sure about going out with him really, he kept at it for four months but I was playing hard to get!
I was worried I suppose that if things didn't work out then it would wreck our friendship. Plus I thought that he would annoy me too much! (It was all in good humour though!) We finally got together in 2007, on the verge of going to university. He went to Brunel University in London, and I went to UWE in Bristol. Obviously there was about 100 miles between us and some people assumed that we wouldn't last. But it just felt right really, making it work; obviously we had to put in a lot of effort to see each other and everything but it never felt like a big effort, it just felt like the natural thing to do. We have a very strong relationship now and we're really comfortable with each other. He's very cheeky and mischievous and I LOVE being stupid and messing around, so we have a lot of fun and a lot of banter! The photo is of Rob and I at my 21st birthday party in 2010 when my ME was mild. I had a children's party and we all dressed up; Rob and his flatmates came as Thunderbirds which was really hilarious.Rob's been brilliant with my illness. He obviously doesn't have it himself but has tried his absolute best to understand it and how I'm experiencing it. I think if I was him I'd be really annoyed at me right now; I'm very often in unbearable pain and crying at him an awful lot. And being so tired all the time I can get really grumpy and he usually ends up as the one to put up with it! I have very bad touch sensitivity so we have no kind of physical relationship; I haven't even been able to give him a hug for months! And because I'm bed-bound I can't just get in the car and drive to his (he lives about 10 miles away), he has to always drive to see me. And petrol really isn't cheap these days!
Before I had my carers Rob was my main carer and did everything for me. He never moaned about it- well he did in a jokey way, but never meant it. He actually said he liked looking after me. I will always be SO grateful to him; he's just been there and has supported me so much, more than I'd ever imagined anyone could. He motivates me to keep going, to keep smiling, and when I'm finding it hard to smile he can have me in fits of giggles within minutes. I really can't describe just how lucky I feel to have him around!
Anyway, do excuse me- rest time is desperately overdue!
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