On Saturday, Rob and I spent a lot of time wrapping presents. It was exhausting but one of those tasks that needed doing! We made it fun though by putting on some cheesy Christmas music and having a box of chocolates open to keep us going. I wasn't able to physically wrap the presents myself (Rob did that for me) but I managed to organise them all and label them; it felt really good to be able to have a hand in it. When you've got ME, you can often feel quite frustrated that you aren't able to get involved with the 'normal' little jobs in life. And sometimes other people with the best will in the world don't give you the chance to do those things in case it tires you out too much. I completely understand their thinking though, I'd probably be the same! Maybe it's because Rob knows me so well but he always makes sure that when there's something going on, I'm involved in some way too.
My sister came home from university for the holidays yesterday too. It was lovely to see her although I felt pretty embarrassed about how much I've deteriorated since seeing her last. I don't know if she felt embarrassed too because I haven't seen a lot of her yet! Anyway, last night my mum, dad and sister decided that it was going to be the annual putting up of the Christmas tree. I absolutely LOVE doing this every year. We have the Christmas music blaring out and all four of us (five since Rob's got involved too) have a really lovely evening bringing in the tree from the garden, making it (and the rest of the house) look really gorgeous and Christmassy and drinking a lot of wine! However there were a lot of tears on my part yesterday evening as obviously being bed bound I couldn't get involved this year. I was really upset, not just because it's one of my favourite nights of the whole year but I was also very angry that here was yet another thing that I was missing out on because of my ME. It always feels very unfair because I obviously didn't ask to get ME in the first place. However, there was no point in sulking about it because there wasn't anything that I could do, and Rob being the absolutely wonderful boyfriend that he is made sure I didn't completely miss out.
As I've mentioned before, there's a competition that AYME are running for SAM's (severely affected members, of which I am one) to have the best decorated Christmas room. I'm getting very competitive over it so Rob decided that last night, what with everything going on, it would be a good night to decorate my room. It was just as lovely as it would have been downstairs- we even had mulled apple juice! When I was about fifteen I bought an artificial Christmas tree which Rob put together for me. I sat in my chair (which in itself is a big thing for me) and covered it in red and gold; there was tinsel, some red cherry lights, glittery star baubles and mini presents which sat on the branches. It looked really gorgeous- very festive! Meanwhile Rob did all the bits that I couldn't do like hang tinsel from my walls, shelves and ceiling and put three more sets of fairy lights up. It looks brilliant now, a bit like Santa's grotto but that's fine with me. Being bed bound can be exceptionally boring, especially if you don't have anything to look at, so now that I have a lot of decorations up it's really lovely! 
Unfortunately, I still haven't managed to see Alice, Darren and baby Jake. It's actually making me feel like a pretty rubbish friend to be honest; I feel like I really should be there for Alice especially really. I think Alice knows though that if I was able to, I would have jumped in my car and seen her straight away! I know I've said it before though, but I really do feel blessed to be surrounded by such lovely friends. A lot of people with ME say how they've lost friends due to their illness, but I'm very very lucky as I haven't found that at all. I've actually gained friends! And those friends I had before I'm closer than ever to. They're definitely going to be friends for life; there's no question about that! But seeing Jake is still such a big goal for me and one that I'm determined to reach before he's walking and talking! It often makes me think about things actually. I've come to focus not on the times I've lost, but all the times I still have yet to come that WILL happen. I'm 22, I've still got so much to look forward to- I might have severe ME but I'm not giving up just yet!
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